Letters to my Younger Self: Family

You can’t stay locked up in there forever.

I’m sure that many people have said it; now I realize how true it is.

You have to face the past sometime.

That’s why I decide to go ice-skating, even though it reminds me of 5th grade and all that happened that year.

You young people think you know everything.

Now I realize how wrong we all were back then. There were other things to fight besides each other, other ways to win people over besides force, other things to do besides collecting secrets for the use of tearing people down.

You can choose your friends but you’re stuck with your family for life.

I think someone got that statement a bit backwards.

You can choose your friends family but you’re stuck with your family friends for life.

That’s better. But I’d better explain a bit more, just in case anyone was wondering…

Everyone knows you by who you hang out with. No one knows each others’ families unless you’re part of a certain minority group. That’s just how it works nowadays. Unless you’re from a small, rural town. Then maybe not. The point is, once you’ve publicly established who your friends are, then you’re stuck with them. If you backstab each other, it’s a betrayal; a scandal. With family, things don’t work that way.

Your family is made of people who support you. That’s why you choose wisely and don’t tell anyone (outside of family, of course) who you chose. Then, if someone becomes unsupportive, it’s not a betrayal or a scandal. It’s just a normal quarrel that happens within families.

So, how do you choose a family? You look at everyone you know; go back to the memories of each person that stand out to you. Cut out the people who hurt you, who lied to you, who tried to take away your sense of self. Then you start sorting- the ones supported and accepted you, the ones who respected you, the ones who defended you, the ones who loved you no matter what. They are your parents, cousins, siblings, and grandparents. They are your family.

At least, that’s how I see it.

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Letters to my Younger Self: Family

  1. It sounds like this is about creating an intentional family–a family not composed of those one happens to be related to genetically, but composed of those one chooses because of their unconditional support.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Considering a recent post I’ve made, and reading over so many of my past posts, there’s not a word of this I can disagree with. Especially about there being better things to do than fight and tear other people down. I’m still trying to master the art of letting go and realizing what’s worth fighting for and what’s not.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I really like your thoughts about things. My favourite part was this:

    “Now I realize how wrong we all were back then. There were other things to fight besides each other, other ways to win people over besides force, other things to do besides collecting secrets for the use of tearing people down.”

    Indeed. I wish that everyone would realise this as they grow up. But sadly not nearly everyone can. I also liked your ideas about how friends can label you in the eyes of others without meaning, and how family is who you make it to be and who you trust. Very good points.

    Liked by 3 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s