I’m sitting on the couch in the hallway behind the stairs, doing homework. Mommy’s trying to help me, but I’m not sure how saying “The textbooks these days make our kind seem like such villains” is helping me. I guess it must be, though, otherwise why would Mommy be saying it over and over again? Maybe she’s talking to herself again- she does that a lot. She’ll say something like “Charlotte, why did you spill the salad again? You know that you’re a better cook than that” (Charlotte’s her name, by the way, not mine- my name’s Anne). Anyways, after awhile of ignoring Mommy and just doing my homework, I finally got it done. After looking at all of my answers (I think she was trying to help one of the other kids cheat off me) she told me that it was good, and that I could go to my room and play while she helped Edward with his homework (Edward is my big brother- he’s not in Grade School like me; he goes to High School).
My room is all pink, with white furniture (Mommy says that those are the proper colors for a little girl like me to have in her room). I have exactly three toys to play with: an old dollhouse, a big pink stuffed unicorn, and a lump of clay. Daddy says that the lump of clay isn’t a toy, and that I’m supposed to use it to develop my “creative juices” (if he wants me to have creative juices, why doesn’t he just let me drink some?). My favorite toy is the dollhouse. I always play with the blonde-haired doll that I named Ellie. She’s a bad doll because she doesn’t do anything by herself- I always have to help her. Maybe she’s saving her energy so she can take care of herself when I can’t help her (I wouldn’t know because she’s always in the same spot that I left her in the last time I played with her). Sometimes I feel sad because she’s always stuck in the same dress and hat, no matter what the weather is like or what she is doing. I wish that she could go swimming in the little pond, but she can’t because she doesn’t have a swimsuit. She can only go fishing. I told Mommy about this, and she made this little laugh and said that if you swim in a pond, you’ll get sick. I don’t believe this because frogs and fish swim in ponds all the time, and they don’t get sick.
Mommy calls me downstairs for T.V. time. This means that Edward is done with his homework, so we can watch T.V. in the family room. Me and Edward take turns picking out what channel to watch- today is his turn to pick.
Edward wanted to watch the comedy channel, which is what we usually watch when it’s his turn to pick. I like the kids’ channel better because a lot of the jokes on the comedy channel don’t make sense. Edward tries to explain them, then gives up and tells me that I’ll understand when I’m older. I just sit there and smile like I know what he’s talking about, which is what Mommy told me to do when I don’t understand something.
Edward and I like to have joke-offs, which is when we tell a whole bunch of jokes to each other to see whose are the funniest. His are always better, and he says that if I keep telling jokes I’ll be better than him one day.
Sometimes Edward gets really mad at me when we watch the kids’ channel. He gets mad other days, too. When he gets really mad and starts teasing me, I get mad too. Then sometimes we start yelling at each other, and Mommy has to come and tell us to be quiet so Daddy doesn’t get mad. If Daddy gets mad, then Mommy gets mad and they start yelling at each other. Sometimes Daddy yells at people even when no one else is mad, so I just try to stay away from him because I’m bad at telling when he’s mad. Mommy says that he’s just hiding his feelings and that it’s an adult thing to do. I hope that I don’t do that when I’m an adult.
One of the times when I have to be around Daddy is during dinnertime. Everyone in our family always eats dinner together on Sunday evenings. Tonight we’re eating salad that Mommy made. I don’t really like the vegetables that much, but Mommy says that they will help me to be able to play more. Daddy sometimes sits farther away from the rest of us, which is good so when he yells I don’t have to hear it so loudly. I always try to be extra-cheerful so that he won’t be mad, but sometimes I forget- tonight I didn’t. Daddy stays in his studio on Sundays and does paintings, but I never get to see them- he puts them all in his big bag to take to the art auctions while Edward and I are at school, and no one’s allowed in his studio except him.
After dinner, I’m allowed to play outside. Sometimes I like to pretend that I’m captain of a big pirate ship, even though Mommy says that playing pirates is a boys’ game. I don’t know why games would be any different for girls or boys, but I guess that they are.
The other thing that I do outside is play on the monkey bars. When I asked Mommy if this was a boys’ game, she said that it wasn’t as long as I was just going across them and not hanging upside-down or anything like that that would make my underwear show. I don’t know why that would be a big deal, because they’re already covering up your private parts, but it must be one of those things that people say I won’t understand until I’m an adult.
When the sun starts going down, I have to come in and get ready for bed. Once the sun is completely down, I’m supposed to be in bed and working on falling asleep. Usually I fall asleep right away because I’m tired from doing things all day, but sometimes I’m not sleepy. Tonight I am, though, so I’m going to bed now. Good night!